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Scarlett Maria Ramjit

Regret

“I don’t regret loving them I regret the pain I caused myself by thinking they loved me too.”

– Scarlett Maria Ramjit

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Deafening

“The silence is so loud, my soul cracks.”

-Scarlett Maria Ramjit

Dull Nights and Desert Skies

“You know, I never thought I’d love the desert the way I did when I travelled so many miles with you there by my side. I must say it was quite an experience. I’m glad I lived to see days where the sun rise above the mountains and to fall asleep on dull nights in the desert skies.”

– Love Scarlett

Drained

“I think I’ve reached my limits. I am exhausted. I am tired. I give up if you must know. I feel drained. I feel like I’m just drifting through the motions.

I’ve always expected too much from life, thinking that I can get all there is to get out of it just because I can, just because life doesn’t have to be a struggle. But it was the biggest lie I’ve ever told myself. I just keep getting disappointed. I’m at the point where I’m questioning myself, am I the one with the problem? Do I set unrealistic goals and standards? Am I a bad person to the world? Is that why I suffer such dissatisfaction and discomfort and unhappiness?

Love Scarlett

Dear Daniel

“Dear Daniel,

This is for you. For all the times you claim I’ve never thought of you. Well let me tell you just how much I am. Let me tell you dear Daniel, of how much I loved you. I’ve given so much of my life to you that it became the easiest most effortless thing I’ve ever done. Let me tell you dear Daniel. Let me tell you just how much emotions you stirred in me. Let me tell you dear Daniel, let me tell you. Let me tell you how many times I prayed that when you wake up in the mornings and you see my face, that you’ll still want me, because God knows I felt inferior. I thought you were the best thing on earth Daniel, let me tell you. You came from something, something I could only dream about and all I had to give was myself Daniel and I gave my all. I’ve made mistakes yes Daniel, but let me say my mistakes do not define me. I still loved you. I loved you so much that I looked at you the way you should have looked at me, but hardly or never really did. Let me tell you Daniel. The reason I had nothing of you anywhere is because you were my happiness Daniel and I was protecting it. But you didn’t see that did you? How long did we make it? Do you think it’s because we just made it? No. It worked because of the things we did Daniel. The chemistry…remember? Let me god damn tell you Daniel. You broke me. And I know you’re not moved Daniel. Because you watched me walk away at the break of dawn and never held me back once…but let me tell you dear Daniel… how much I still love you because it hurts…”

forever…Triah…

Killed

“I hope you’re happy. You’ve killed all the love in my heart.”

Anger

“Look, all I can honestly say is screw this. Screw it all. I’m tired of your bullshit.”

– Love Scarlett

I Am Woman

“I am woman. I am woman enough to love a man who doesn’t love me. I am woman enough to wine him, dine him and take care of him. I am woman enough to full his cup up half way and leave myself empty. That is what I am. I am woman. I am woman enough to cry myself to sleep at nights and wake up in the morning like a ray of sunshine. I am woman enough to be your emotional support, your financial support and your punching bag. I am woman enough. I am woman enough to dream dreams only man thinks he can dominate. I am woman enough to be patient and kind to you and teach you new things in life and watch you entertain people with my knowledge. That is what I am. I am woman. I am woman enough to never beg a man for anything, I will slave for it myself because he never offered a hand. I am woman enough to love myself and my broken pieces and still love those who broke me. That is what I am. I am woman. I am woman enough to want to carry a child within me and do it by myself because I refuse to be used, abused and disappointed by another man. ┬áThat is what I am. I am woman. I am woman enough to bear the pain of the entire room and comfort each one to his own satisfaction while I am feeling the pain of a thousand wars within. That is what I am. I am woman enough. I am woman enough to respect my fellow woman and never degrade or disgrace them in any way. That is what I am. I am woman. I am woman enough to be humble and know that I am because I allow my actions to show it. I am woman enough. I am woman enough. I am woman enough to know that no man should ever harm my body but only make love to it each time. I am woman enough to know when I am wrong and when to seek help because I am not afraid. That is what I am. I am woman enough to stand alone and away from the crowd because I will follow my own heart. I am woman enough to know that I do not know everything and I will remain open minded to this world. That is what I am and I am more than enough because God made me His second in command and He called me woman.”

-Love Scareltt

And slowly

“I love you too much, that’s why I’m slowly fading away from you. I’m letting you live your life like you wanted to. At first it was too hurtful, and then I prayed that my heart be healed and that my mind understand the words you say to me; ‘I will never give you my heart.’ And slowly I believed. And slowly I forgot all the bad parts and I held the sweet ones close to my heart. And slowly I give up on my dreams of love because there were all centred around you.”

-Love Scarlett

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